A pixelated life

A treat at the Osborne Lights

2012-01-03T23:25:00.007-06:00

On this trip to Disney, I was most excited to finally see the Osborne Family Spectacle of Dancing Lights. I remember when the lights were the cause of the court battle in Arkansas and how they moved to Disney when the family was forced to give the display up.

The lights did not disappoint. You just wanted to stand in the middle of it and turn around and around to take it all in. The lights were set to music, and snow was blown from several roofs around the display. If you've ever thought about going to see this, don't think! GO!!

But what I enjoyed most was the surprise of hearing the Barenaked Ladies' version of "Sleigh Ride." A wonderful way to start 2012 (it was around 2:30 a.m. on Jan. 1 when this video was shot)!

After this, my friend and I walked to our bus and went to our hotel room - extremely exhausted but very happy after a fantastic day.

New Year's Eve at Walt Disney World's Epcot

2012-01-03T17:11:00.007-06:00

A friend and I spent New Year's Eve at Walt Disney World, and it was a fabulous trip! Nothing like spending New Year's Eve with 75,000 of your closest friends.

A little online sleuthing before the trip gave me info on where to sit to get the best view of the fireworks. So we staked our spot at the front of World Showcase about 3.5 hours before the show was to start at 11:40 p.m. We used the time to relax (we already had been at Animal Kingdom since around 10 a.m.), grab some food, make bathroom runs and people-watch. We saw people wearing everything from formals to shorts, along with a few "oh no they didn't" outfits. Great time.

We actually saw both showings of Illuminations that night. The 7 p.m. show had the Peace on Earth finale. Beautiful. The 11:40 p.m. show had the NYE countdown and show. The links here will take you to video from both of those shows.

Here are a few photos of the crowd (not the best shots, but you get the idea of how packed it was):

California labor laws for the other Melissa

2011-12-14T22:04:00.005-06:00

I've written on here before about the other Melissa (insert our last name here). There are several of us scattered throughout the country.

It seems I was the first one to grab a Gmail email account with a variation of the name. And for a period of time, I kept getting requests from other Melissas to give it up so they could have it. How rude! Guess we know which is the fastest Melissa, don't we?

I didn't give up the address, but that hasn't stopped me from getting some interesting emails over the years meant for the others. I have gotten emails with very personal information, flight information, hotel confirmations, etc. If I was an evil person, I could have caused lots of trouble for my counterparts.

But I continue to get emails from Nancy, who works for the state of California in some capacity. The Melissa she sends emails to has an address oh-so similar to mine. Nancy sounds suspiciously like a grandma. The latest emails have revolved around jobs for some kids. For instance:

"I think they made a mistake about the age thing and he should contact them and tell them he is no longer under the restrictions of a minor for labor law requirement since he is graduated. Also he should go direct to the company and see if he can work for them and also he can contact the temp agency after he is 18 again. I think they did not know the law and freaked out and may of given him a line because they were afraid they violated a labor law. I mean they could have some kind of grant, but they usually don’t unless things are getting tight and they are looking for new ways. He could also contact the employer and talk to HR and see if they have a program like the one the temp agency is talking about like ex. The ones we have Gold card for the VET’s and elevate America which Micorsoft is doing right now or like the program listed in # 6 the WEE. I don’t know I would check it out more the employer could be doing something because we are targeting the youth and they maybe getting tax breaks and things like that.

Kiss the kids tell him to check the cities and www.SPB.CA.GOV"

Sigh.

Nancy, I don't care. Not that I blame you. I blame Google. These emails keep coming to me. Really, it states "me," but it's not me - not me and not my email address.

So I guess I cope and keep putting Nancy's emails in my spam folder. Just hope that I stay a nice person and don't use any of this information I keep getting.

Halloween Horror Nights 21

2011-11-06T17:42:00.032-06:00

I recently traveled solo to Orlando to attend Universal Studio's Halloween Horror Nights 21 because my three usual companions couldn't attend for one reason or another. So, this post is mainly to fill them in on what was missed this year.

The park, Universal Studios, wasn't decorated as elaborately as it has been in the past. During the day, you could walk around the park and not know the event was being held if you didn't have sharp eyes. I had signed up for a RIP tour, as always. If you ever go, and only have one night to spend (or don't relish waiting in long lines with obnoxious drunks), don't hesitate to spend the $150 plus tax. You get a guide who gives you the background on each house and scare zone and escorts you to the front of all lines. No waiting at all. With eight houses that can each have a typical wait time of 75 minutes or longer, you can see the benefit. The tour also gets you reserved seats at the Bill & Ted show and a few rides (Men in Black, The Mummy and - this year - Rip, Ride and Rockit - again, with the guide walking you right to the front of the line).

In the interest of full disclosure, please note that you also have to buy a ticket into the event itself in addition to the RIP tour price. Still, well worth it.

My tour didn't begin until 8 p.m., so I had about an hour to wander around to shoot some photos/video and catch a Death Drums show. I was one of the first ones through the gate, so I got to see the chainsaw drill team greet visitors (and an infant, too!) Usually, the team is dressed more like Leatherface, but they were dressed up a bit for the theme for HHN 21 - Lady Luck. Get it??

The Death Drums show was billed as a "seductive, hard-hitting and raw extreme drumming experience." I would bill it as "Thriller set to some drum beats." I was expecting something a bit more edgy, I suppose. It was OK, just not fantastic enough to make me camp out for the three different shows nightly. Once was enough, thanks.

Lucas was our guide this year, and he was wonderful (and just darn cute!). Our group included me, another woman by herself (we'll call her Blondie), a man with his three teens (two daughters and a son) and Asshole Father with his brood of three teen assholes, all boys. This is the first time I can recall being in a group with this many younger kids. Blondie and I began chatting before our group headed out and stuck together throughout the tour.

I had two houses I was really looking forward to, but I hadn't visited the event's website much this year. I really didn't know too much about the eight houses and six scare zones other than the titles and basic premises.

So, here's how our night went (basically. Forgive me if I've gotten anything out of sequence - not that you'd know):

We first walked through a few scare zones. First was 7, the lair of the lucky. Meh. Not that impressive, but there were some good laughs to be had as other people got scared.

Second was Grown Evil, the best scare zone at the event. The premise behind it was it was a garden that nature had taken back and nature was kinda pissed. Lots of bats hanging from trees and human bats lurking in the shadows.

Next up was a cluster of three houses in the background area near Men in Black and the kiddie zone.

Our first house was Nevermore: The Madness of Poe, which was based on Edgar Allan Poe and some of his works. This was the house I was most excited to experience since I love Poe. The theming inside the house was amazing. Scareactors portrayed Poe at various spots throughout, and there were scenes from The Raven (d'uh!!), Masque of the Red Death, The Tell-Tale Heart, The Pit and the Pendulum and The Cask of Amontillado (YES!! My favorite!). Far from being frightened, I could have stayed in this house all night. In one of the hallways, there were huge sheets hanging from the ceilings, passages from Poe's works written on them in beautiful handwriting. I was so tempted to yank one down and bring it home, but the Orlando Police Department was at the event in full force (more on that later).

Second house, which was nearby, was The Forsaken. The story behind this house was that of the fourth ship from Christopher Columbus' historic voyage to the new world - a ship that sank after its crew mutinied under a captain who wanted to lead the expedition. The crew, now dead, has arrived at an abandoned Spanish fort and is ready to take its vengeance out on whomever wanders in. Nothing extra special about this house - lots of scareactors popping out at you BUT there were a lot of water effects that you had to dodge. One got me on my right ear. As you exited the house, you had to walk out from the ship that was listing to the left. Maybe it was my imagination, but I could have sworn the whole deck was moving, too.

The third house was The In-Between, which surprised me as the best house of the event and one of the best I've ever experienced. The story behind it, according to Lucas, is that some college kids swiped a portal from a professor that opened a door to hell. This house was a 3D experience. Now, I don't like 3D movies (because I like to see the MOVIE and not cheap gimmicks), but this was a different experience. We put on our glasses outside and walked like doofuses, trying not to trip over our own feet, to the entrance. The 3D effect in the first room was evident, but not overwhelming. But then - you hit the tunnel. The spinning tunnel that has been used in various houses over the past few years. Not only did you get that unsteady feeling because of the rolling barrel, but you also had to deal with the 3D effects. There is a reason they provide a railing through this part. Pretty trippy, and I hadn't had any booze. The rest of the house was flipping' amazing. You were blown away by the effects while concentrating on finding your way through. It was very disorienting, but in a great way. I got spooked a few times by scareactors surprising me from behind.

We stopped for a bathroom break, then headed through a few more scare zones on the way to more houses. First was Canyon of Dark Souls, which sounded promising but was pretty friggin' lame. The "canyons" were extremely tall black-draped structures with some almost Scream-like decorations. A few scareactors at both ends. The black fabric would billow now and then. That's it. Lame, lame, lame.

Another one was Acid Assault, which was in the area of The Mummy. Not a bad scarezone, but a lot of people going through all the time. Not much on decorations, but there was an extremely cool projection of the huge library crumbling under the stress of the acid rain.

We also went through NightMaze, which was supposed to be an "ever-changing maze of darkness," according to the official guide. Ah, try a few black screens put up next to the Shrek attraction that you just walked through. As lame as the Canyon of Dark Souls was, this one was 10 times lamer. And I know LeCrete was sorry she was gonna miss this. Well, you didn't miss anything.

Our next three houses were the soundstage houses. One was The Thing. I'm sorry, Universal. I know the studio released a Thing prequel in October, but we've seen this house before. I wasn't impressed.

The next house, though, was just beautifully done. It was Winter's Night: The Haunting of Hawthorn Cemetery (and it was the house our tour was named for). It was cold inside, but not freezing. Picture a snowy Gothic cemetery where the deceased try to add you to their numbers. It was not scare-you-out-of-your-skin, but it was eerie. They used a lot of blue lights to create the mood - from above, in lanterns, etc. Above all, it was just wonderfully themed. Both Blondie and I enjoyed it very much.

The last house of this bunch was Nightingales: Blood Prey, which had World War I soldiers dealing with nurses who actually were shape-shifting banshees. Lots of loud noises (gunfire, explosions, screaming) and an earthy, decaying smell throughout (you were walking through the trenches) and lots of banshees flying over your head. Also a lot of squirting body wounds in this house, which I managed to avoid.

It was during these last two houses that I got fed up with Asshole Father and his brood. The kids - none of whom looked to be older than 16 - were egging on some of the scareactors, touching a lot of props. All four of them would just stop at certain spots and start to chat, holding up everyone behind them. Everyone else on the tour started distancing themselves from the group. Good move. Blondie and I did get stuck with them on Men In Black, which sucked because none of them knew how to play the game. Idiots.

Anyway, we took another break here to ride Rip, Ride and Rockit. Blondie and I got in the front of the first car. Sweet! And it was fully dark by this time, so it was an amazing ride. I called up my app to get the secret codes and picked Blue Man Group's "Drumbone" again, a great song to listen to on the ride. It was Blondie's first time on the ride, and she loved it.

Next was the other house I really wanted to experience - H.R. Bloodengutz: Holidays of Horror. My regular companions will understand when I say that this was the event's "gay redneck" house. It was in the space behind the Earthquake attraction. The story behind this house was that creature feature host H.R. Bloodengutz has had his show canceled by the station owner, so he decides to take his revenge. We walked into the house to find Mr. Bloodengutz (dressed kinda like a vampire) with the theme from "The Munsters" playing. As I walked by him, I was bobbing my head to the music, so we had a little exchange:

Bloodengutz: "Oh, ya, youse are dancing!"
Me: "Of course!"

These were twisted holidays, and I LOL'd when we hit the first one - Valentine's Day. Two burly guys wearing satin Cupid outfits that were smeared with blood were menacing people as they walked through. Other holidays were the Fourth of July (nothing special), Easter (deranged bunnies), Thanksgiving (Oh.My.God. They had a man - not a live one because, well, … - on a table that had been decorated and dressed as a Thanksgiving turkey - a stuffed turkey. I was surprised they actually went there with where they had stuffed the stuffing. I wish I could have gotten a photo, really. His mouth was stuffed, too.) and Christmas. All that was left of Santa's head was splattered against a wall with his hat and beard. There was a menacing elf, too, who was pretty creepy.

I think I was the only one who really loved this house. Guess that says a lot about me, huh?

And it was at this house that one of the Asshole brood got pulled out of line by security because he was messing with a scareactor. Now, Lucas had given the warning about not doing this several times. We didn't know anything was up until the group was together outside the house, but we were still waiting. That's when I noticed Asshole Father and one of the kids was missing. Took a few minutes, but they rejoined us. Of course, neither one of them thought they had done anything wrong. Asshole Boy thought he was being picked on. Asshole Father said nothing. No apology for holding up the tour, nothing. Really confirmed my suspicions that these were not people I needed to know.

We headed over for the Bill & Ted show, last show of the night so it wasn't a full crowd (this was a Sunday night). I did notice a lot of younger kids in the crowd (I saw one girl who couldn't have been older than 7), which the cast addressed right off the bat. As in, "what are you doing bringing your kids to this show anyway" and then led us all in a chorus of curse words. That's what you get, moms and dads.

The show itself wasn't that great. Had a few moments, but it followed the same premise - some evil character threatens to destroy the world if Bill and Ted can't prove to them that the year had any redeeming pop culture. Best parts of the show were the intro and a few audience interactions that were pretty hilarious. Conan O'Brien the Barbarian suddenly appeared on the row right above me, standing with his crotch pretty darn close to the face of the guy seated at the end. He was dressed as Conan the Barbarian, of course, but with Conan's red hair. The audience member was uncomfortable being so close to the crotch, so of course Conan pressed closer. Then, Smurfette made an appearance and enflamed an elderly gentlemen in the section next to ours. When she walked out, he threw his arms out and called to her (really, this guy was at least 60-65!), and she walked over and gave him a hug and a kiss. The crowd went wild.

After that, we hit the last house, which was Saws N' Steam: Into the Machine. The story behind this is that a company was taking "recruits" and harvesting the water from their bodies with "spinning blades and crushing pistons." Loud house with some gruesome effects and squirting "blood" here and there, but nothing spectacular. It was the last house to tour, and I thought we kinda rushed through it, so maybe that's why I wasn't that impressed.

We parted from Lucas outside this house, which was in the Jaws queue. It had started to rain when we were watching Bill & Ted, so everyone went their own ways. I had come prepared with my rain jacket, and Blondie and I walked to the car valet, which is all the way through the park and CityWalk. It was midnight, and I had been at the park since 11 a.m. I was tired and hungry. The line at the valet was very long, so we waited. I ended up chatting with two other women there about some rides at Disney. While doing so, I noticed there were four Orlando cops talking to a woman and a Universal suit at the front of the line. I didn't pay too much attention at the time.

However, they were still there when I got to the front, which meant I could hear the conversation. The woman, who was drunk (surprise!), was an annual passholder (as I am) and was upset that she had to pay full price - $25 - for the valet service. Now, when I got to the park, the valet who took my car told me this AND there is a big sign that states the same thing. I was fine with it because it beats the hell out of parking in Universal's parking structures AND I was getting my ticket validated because I was on a RIP tour. Score! This woman, though, was not pleased and was determined to cause a scene.

I was ready, hand on the camera in my pocket, when one of the cops told her that there were 30,000 people in the park that night, and that Orlando PD did not have the time or authority to deal with her problem. He told her to pay for her vehicle and leave (there were others with her who were sober. They had the good sense to hide from the crowd behind one of the valet booths) within two minutes, or she would be arrested. Instead of leaving, this idiot got in the cop's face and started giving an attitude. The cop was amazing. He kept his cool, and she didn't get arrested. If she had been in my city, she might have been shot - tazered at the least, maybe both. I was kinda disappointed.

I then stepped up and gave my ticket, then waited in line for my car. I knew I'd be waiting for at least 30 minutes because there were so many others ahead of me, but no. My car was there in under five minutes. No one could believe it. I actually apologized to the others, and said goodbye to Blondie, before getting in the car for the trip back to Pop.

Another year down. Here's hoping the gang will be able to get together for HHN 22!

"In Soviet Russia ..."

2011-08-19T20:51:00.006-06:00

Just days ago, people were chuckling over Michelle Bachmann's latest gaffe about voters being concerned about "the rise of the Soviet Union."

I'm not gonna try to figure out what she meant because it could make my head explode. But it did make me recall the time I spent with some sailors from behind the Iron Curtain.

It was 1989. I was working for a weekly paper, Navy News, in Virginia Beach, Va. The Soviet navy and U.S. Navy were starting to trade off visits as relations slowly thawed. In July 1989, about 1,100 Soviet sailors arrived at Norfolk Naval Base aboard three ships - the guided-missile cruiser Marshall Ustionov, the destroyer Oglichny and the oiler Genrich.

One of the main purposes of the visit was just to get to know each other better, more as people rather than enemies. It seemed to work. One petty officer was quoted as saying the Soviets didn't "seem all that bad to me." And one Soviet sailor said he didn't think of the USSR and United States as enemies because "in the last war - The Great War - we were together."

Also on the agenda during the visit were tours of ships, concerts, a memorial service to honor World War II dead and trips to Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, a baseball game and Lynnhaven Mall.

I got to tag along to the mall, and it was an experience I'll never forget.

Us media folks waited inside the mall, which was closed, for the sailors to arrive. First in the door was a walking stereotype, an admiral with medals covering every square inch of cloth on one side of his uniform. The sailors were behind him, all dressed in civilian clothes. The sailors were given some tips and guidelines and turned loose - and every single one headed straight to Radio Shack. I think the store's stock was wiped out that night.

Next stop, the upstairs food court and McDonald's. I sat at a table with three sailors, all proficient flirts. The trio had bought Big Macs, and they took their first bites with trepidation. They weren't overly enthusiastic about the famous sandwich. In fact, one of the sailors boasted to me that they had better sandwiches back home.

I sat with the group a little longer, listening as they told me about their homeland in broken English while I answered some questions they had about life in America. It was a great time, a wonderful opportunity to see how people from such a different culture and political landscape lived. What I found is that they were just like us, even if they didn't care for Big Macs.

Scene from a local convenience store

2011-04-27T21:43:00.004-06:00

Met my family for dinner tonight, and discovered an almost flat tire after finishing. I drove to a nearby convenience store to use the air pump. Since it costs 75 cents to use the machine, I had to go inside the small, dingy store to buy something for change.

The line for checkout is three-people deep when I join. A woman at the counter is making her lottery picks - slowly. She chants numbers to the clerk for three different tickets. I sigh, realizing I have a deadline at work. She wraps up the lottery picks, and I am hopeful.

But no. Then she starts looking for vodka. Meanwhile, the two grizzled old dudes in front of me are holding a conversation. No idea what it's about, but there's much mumbling and "yep, yeps." A young guy in a hoodie walks in line behind me, but darts off to the Icee machine. Somehow, this raises the suspicions of the store clerk, who keeps his eyes on the kid while the lady still ponders her vodka selection.

Finally, the clerk holds up a big bottle of Blue Skyy vodka, the biggest on the shelf. In a voice clearly ravaged by cigarettes, she says, "IS THAT THE BIGGEST YA GOT?" When the clerk says yes, she pays.

I finally get my Coke and some change, watch my son put air in the tire and head back to work. This suits me fine. Sometimes a little taste of what life might be like is enough to make you appreciate the one you do have.

"Pray for the Wildcats"

2011-03-28T23:48:00.008-06:00

It's not as cheestastic as I expected, but it has its moments. Yes, Andy Griffith is evil, but it was more "I've got money so I can do whatever I want to without regard for anyone" kind of evil. It was far more disturbing to see him shake his moneymaker and try to make time with a girl young enough to be his granddaughter. Overall, not a terrible movie, just a predictable one with an annoying soundtrack. The ending was a mess, as Shatner's moralizing monologue got lost when they tacked on the scene about the abortion. Maybe because this movie came out in 1974, not long after the Roe v. Wade decision? No clue.

So, here is the review:

Cue the 70s music, four guys riding on dirt bikes through hilly countryside. Lots of dirt being kicked up, jackets blown in the wind, squinty eyes through yellow visors. One of the bikers races up a steep hill and takes off his helmet at the top. It's Andy Griffith, but the look on his face says this ain't Matlock. He looks badass, if it's possible for Andy Griffith to look so.

Another biker sees this and decides to follow him up the hill. Terry (Marjoe Gortner) doesn't make it. Switch to Paul (Robert Reed) and Warren (William Shatner) watching below from their bikes. Reed says he's lucky Sam (Griffith) doesn't come back down the hill and run him over. Shatner says, as only he can, "The day is still young."

Next we see Lila (Lorraine Gary) fussing over a table laden with food and worrying about whether the wine is too cold. Nancy (Angie Dickinson) gives her grief about worrying so much, while Krissie (Janet Margolin) notices that the men are approaching. Three return, but Sam isn't among them. When he does return, it quickly becomes apparent that these folks are tolerating Sam. He's like the rich uncle no one wants to piss off no matter how much they dislike him because they want his cash. The three are executives at an advertising agency trying to land a million-dollar account from Sam. Just what they're advertising isn't clear - at all, ever. He wants to go on a bike excursion to Baja; Warren doesn't want to go.

But, in the end, Sam wins after repeatedly violating Warren's personal space. You get the feeling that Warren and his big-ass glasses are at the end of their ropes. He's been called out of an important meeting to discuss his termination. Apparently, in the 1970s at advertising agencies, they'd fire you but allow you to hang around and use the company credit cards and country club until you got a new job. Who knew? The bigwigs are looking for Warren to wrap things up and get out, and they'll let him hang on only if things go well with Sam's account.

Lila, Warren's wife, is oblivious and wants to get a painter to the house for an estimate on a fresco in one of the rooms. Rather than tell her and his two daughters he's been fired, he flashes a pained smile and tells her OK.

Whoa!! Marjoe Gortner in leather pants!! I did not need to see that!! And talking 70s jive. Meanwhile, he's neglecting Krissie and a fight ensues. He tries to be all glib, and she tells him she's pregnant. Does he want her to keep it? she asks. And the scene switches to Warren at his health exam (Shatner with no shirt on, no girdle yet required). He gets a phone call and finds out that this other job opportunity ain't happening. He tells his doctor he's going on a trip to Baja and to put a report through to his insurance company for his new $200,000 life insurance policy. His health is excellent, even though you can tell he hasn't unclenched his ass in a few years.

Nancy and Paul, who are married, have a fight before Paul goes to work. She should know that Mr. Brady is gay. D'uh!! Before Paul has time to zip down the driveway in his Corvette, she calls Warren, with whom she's been having an affair. Nancy then gets pissed when she finds out Warren is now going on this trip.

Cut to the border, and the whole gang there in shirts that are disturbingly similar to Star Trek tunics. Shatner is even wearing a gold one. Paul is wearing a red one. Uh-oh.

Sam hands out leather jackets emblazoned with "Baja Wildcats" on them to all his biker buds. The women stand by. Terry tells Krissie not to get "heavy" and he can't think about the baby right now, that they'll work it out when he returns. She is not pleased. Lila tells Warren that this trip is not like him at all. He says he's been predictable too long. Nancy tells Paul she'll take her vacation when he gets back. They should just stop off for a quickie Mexico divorce before they start the trip.

The guys pose for a photo before leaving, complete with fake camera sounds and freeze-frames of each Wildcats' faces. Then, they're off! A slow pan of the women and the tagline belongs to Angie Dickinson - "Pray for the Wildcats."

They make their first stop and the boys go for a drink while Warren deals with a "faulty throttle" on his bike. In the bar, a bunch of guys are clapping terribly out of time with the music while some chick dances around. Terry is pounding on the table, showing he has no sense of rhythm at all. Capt. Kirk walks in, whoops, I mean Warren walks in just as Sam is getting really turned on and tries to dance with the chick. This is a disturbing vision. Where is Aunt Bea when you need her???

Told ya!

The chick's boyfriend steps in when Sam gets too frisky and a fight ensues. Warren breaks it up and smooths things over. Sam violates Warren's personal space again and then goes outside to douse himself with water, as if that will dull the effects of tequila (personal experience speaking here).

While Sam tries to recover, Paul tells Warren that he knows he's been fired. Sam sees the couple leaving the bar, so you know this is gonna come up again.

Meanwhile, back in civilization, Lila and Nancy are having lunch. Lila tells Nancy that Warren read her his will before he left. Nancy knows something is up, and the creepy music that has accompanied Warren since the beginning comes back. Lila is clueless.

Back on the trail, Warren is having flashbacks to his firing and scenes we've already witnessed. You're left wondering how soon and just how Warren is going to try to kill himself. But before that, we get to enjoy several minutes of an aimless guitar solo while the guys get dusty driving through Baja.

They arrive at the beach and - by some great plot contrivance - the bar chick and her boyfriend are camped there. They are frolicking naked in the surf, which gets Sam excited again and makes me ill. Sam wants to mix it up with the couple, but the other three talk him out of it. And for a moment, Warren contemplates driving his bike off a cliff. I understand, dude. Much better than watching Andy Griffith try to get his groove on.

So instead of that, we get to hear a voiceover of Sam talking to said chick while porn-like music plays. Dear God, please make it stop. I'm almost glad to see the next shot of the big spider walking on the ground.

The group stops for the night. Sam teases Warren by almost giving his approval for the ad campaign (for what we still have no clue), then Terry and Sam drive off to scout the area. Sam decides to make a detour, which means he's hunting for the chick again. Now we get an aimless piano solo and shots of Sam's face in the setting sun. And they find the chick and her boyfriend again. Sam offers the boyfriend $100 for his girl after "apologizing" for his earlier behavior. This upsets the boyfriend, oddly enough. The boyfriend grabs a stick while Sam tries to convince him he's a "hippie with money." Another fight ensues. Sam grabs an ax, Terry grabs Sam and the boyfriend runs off to safety. Sam uses the ax to ruin the radiator in the couple's van. "He just bought himself a long walk home," he says with the crazy eyes.

They get back to camp at dusk. Warren notices they came back from a different direction, and Sam tells them they got lost. Terry agrees.

Back in civilization, Nancy is trying to get a search under way for the group, fearing that Warren is going to kill himself. No go on the search unless a family member requests it, and Nancy knows that can't happen. Cut back to Baja and more aimless guitar solo.

But a helicopter carrying Qaddafi lands! No, wait, it's a Mexican police officer. My bad. He's checking papers - and he's keeping them. He tells them to stop in a nearby town to pick them up after he verifies them. I smell trouble brewing.

Meanwhile, Terry is having flashbacks to Sam attacking the boyfriend and Krissie telling him she's pregnant. I don't know why.

The reason the cop was checking papers? The boyfriend was found dead in the desert. The chick was found alive, but snakebit. So the cop starts asking if they've seen the two, to which they say yes. But Sam tells the cop both the hippies were stoned, as hippies usually are, and were dancing naked in the water. Warren starts to suspect something is up when Terry gets uncomfortable when the cop mentions the radiator. The cop tells them to hang out in the town until questions are answered.

While the three drink a beer, Sam rides the town kids around on his bike. Warren grills Terry about what happened. Terry denies anything, but Warren knows. Paul asks Warren what to do. Warren says someone is gonna tell the truth. Warren is getting a backbone. Gotta be the gold shirt.

Meanwhile, back in civilization, Nancy is at Lila's while Lila frets over the decorating. Nancy comes clean with Lila about the affair and Warren's firing. Lila says she's known about the affair. But the firing shocks her. Nancy tries to get Lila to ask for a search. Lila says she knows Warren better and Nancy walks out.

Back in Mexico, Sam is drinking boilermakers in a bar with the locals. The cop is watching. Terry is drunk. He announces he's getting married. He's talking, but not making sense. Warren walks in and starts to go straight for Sam and the cop. Paul talks him out of it, and they leave the bar. They have a mid-life crisis talk and drink some more. They agree to just get home and then go tell American officials what they know.

Warren wakes up in the dirt, clutching an empty bottle of tequila. He sees Sam and Terry drive off on their bikes and finds out the chick died in the night. Paul tries to tell Warren it's all over now and that they don't have to get involved. Warren is pissed that Paul didn't tell him before Sam and Terry left, but Paul says his bike is broken. Warren takes a closer look, then asks Paul how much sugar he put in his gas tank. Paul is busted, and Warren rides off for justice. Paul is standing there, whining about how he wants Sam's account and that Warren has nothing to lose. But Warren is off, riding after Sam and Terry.

Warren catches up to the two. Sam tells Warren that Terry is now his employee and doesn't work for the agency any more. Sam tells Terry to go back because he and Warren "have a few things to straighten out." I can just see the epic battle about to play out.

Sam knows Warren's been fired, and everything else, even that he wants to kill himself. Warren rides off after Terry. And Sam then follows. Bike chase!!! Sam tries to kill Warren, but Warren throws a few Kirk moves out there. Chase continues!

Now all the aimless solos - piano, guitar - come together in one grand aimless solo as the two ride along a cliff and Sam tries to kick Warren over the edge. I'm getting flashbacks to Star Trek III just as Warren gasps and skids, stopping him from going off the cliff (and flashback to the new, much-hated Star Trek movie comes to me). Sam is too stupid to stop, and I get to enjoy watching him, in slo-mo, fly off the cliff and onto the beach. Then, BOOM!!! bike explodes. Guess money can only buy so much, huh? Warren looks on in horror, but shakes it off and rides into the surf. Sam roasts on the beach, while Warren collapses in a fit of overacting.

Now we're back at the border. The girls are waiting. A box that is much too big to hold what's left of Sam is loaded into a hearse. Lila and Warren embrace and you know things are going to work out for them. Nancy tells Paul she wants a divorce and walks off. Paul tries to tell Warren he doesn't have to leave the agency. Warren decides he's out, and walks off with Lila. Terry chats with Krissie, upset that Sam is dead. He tells her if she wants to keep the baby, that's OK. She tells him it's too late, then gets into their car. And they all drive off. End credits roll.

Dear Apple:

2011-03-02T21:36:00.002-06:00

I love my iPhone, probably too much. Is it healthy that my phone is the first thing I reach for in the morning? I think not.

But I digress.

Still, I have a complaint. Why can't I delete music I've purchased through iTunes off my phone? After some research, it appears that Apple designed the phone to NEVER let you delete stuff you download from their store to your phone EVER. Yes, I understand that it's a backup in case something happens and you need to recover stuff. But if people can't be responsible enough to back up their data, then that's their own tough luck (and I'm speaking from experience here).

Really, where was this handy feature when my external hard drive containing my entire iTunes library for my iPod died? Thankfully, I had another backup, but it didn't contain all my data and I spent a week rebuilding it. Pain in the ass, but lesson learned.

So here's another lesson learned: I will never, ever, ever again download anything from iTunes to my iPhone.

P.S. If anyone more techie than me would care to prove me wrong, I'd love to hear from you. :-)

A glorious spam letter

2011-01-15T22:15:00.005-06:00

Spam letters usually don't get a second glance from people before they hit the delete button - and for good reasons. But one caught my eye as I prepared to trash it and about 20 other dubious e-mails for erectile dysfunction, credit card offers and education opportunities. I opened it, and discovered comedy gold.

Here it is, with a few notes from yours truly:

Compliment Of The Season !!! (January? Tax season?)

I AM MR JOHN MORGAN.I OWNED TWO OIL WELL AND ONE REFINERY.i am married to MRS HELEN MORGAN. She works with the UNITED NATIONS GOVERMENT (Confirming the suspicions of U.N./New World Order conspiracy theorists everywhere).

I buy your guts and courage to be more conscious when it come's to case like this, it is normal you get protective over such issue as you never knows how real it is (Excuse me?).

I am a reputable man of high and international standard, it will be so discrediting to my credibility if this was a scam or what so ever you call it.It is a shame today that so many people have them self involve in such barbaric attitude but am happy that i am a legitimate business man and clean minded and also have the fear of God in what so ever am doing in life.

The Almighty lord do not create me out to this world to cheat or deceive people of interest out of their money so i will reject been such ever in my life.I am a knight in my church I worship as a good Christian, if i had ever thought of scamming people i think God would not have elevated me to this standard which i am now (OK, he's just trying too hard now.).

I PARTNERED WITH MICROSOFT INTERNET FOR AN INVESTMENT PROGRAMME WHICH WAS VERY SUCCESFULL AND PROSPERIOUS.I HAVE TO SHOW GRATITUDE TO MICROSOFT INTERNET, SO IDECIDED TO COMPENSATE MICROSOFT INTERNET LUCKY WINNER WITH THE SUM OF 900,000 UNITED STATE DOLLARS TO ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO USED THE INTERNET DAILY. I AM CURRENTLY IN PARAGUAY FOR ANOTHER INVESTMENT PROJECT. IT WAS MADE EASY AND SUCCESFULL WITH THE HELP OF MICROSOFT INTERNET (Here's where I know it's a scam; I'm a Mac person. And there's no need for him to shout.).

Due to your effort, using the internet programs indoor and in your office,I want to compensate you and show microsoft gratitude to youwith the sum of $900,000 dollars ( NINE Hundred Thousand United States Of America Dollars) because your email address emerge as one of the lucky winners to be compensated.

After this automated computer ballot, your e-mail address emerged as a winner in the category "A" with the following numbers attached Ref Number: EH 9590 OGSO.I have authorized the finance house where I deposited my money to issue you international certified bank draft cashable at your bank. assist your in getting your compensation check across to you.

It is a real your cheque and you can cash it in any bank of your choice in your country. The cheque has been put under a hard cover parcel for security reasons.

CONTACT COMPENSATION AND FINANCE HOUSE FOR YOUR CHEQUE OF 900,000 DOLLARS.
EMAIL: revedwinthompson1@yahoo.co.jp
NAME; Rev Edwin Thompson
CELL PHONE: +234-818-482-6261

My sincere advice to you as a christian is that you should endeavour to pay your tithe to a bible believing church when you get the prize and try to help the less previledge ones in your country, by donating to the orphanage homes (By this time, I was in tears, applauding. I can just imagine the writer, frantically trying to think of some hook that would be sure to goad people into giving this a shot. "Help the orphans! THAT'S IT!!!!").

YOURS SINCERELY
JOHN MORGAN

My goal ...

2010-08-10T21:59:00.002-06:00

... is to post something here at least once a year. I've hit the 2010 goal!

Shoulda pulled his damn shorts up, and this wouldn't happen!

2010-01-28T23:06:00.001-06:00

Different day, same thing

2010-01-28T22:07:00.004-06:00

So this is what I found the other night when I tried to go to bed - Rosie (the dog), Tab (a "manly" version of Tabitha because what once was thought to be female actually is male) and Snowball, all sleeping contentedly at the foot of my bed.

May I sit down beside you?

2009-04-25T23:08:00.003-06:00

OK, I hate spiders. Like kill-it-with-fire hate. When I was younger, I used to keep a can of bug spray handy (or hair spray, thank you very much) just in case I'd see one. The panic factor isn't as bad now, and I even can admit to being fascinated by them and their appearance.

Mind you, I still hate them.

On another note, it's been quite a few weeks since I updated the blog. I've become a slave to Facebook. It's sad, really. But I have discovered, through the highly addictive FB quizzes, that Jesus thinks I'm a sanctimonious prick, that I'm not evil but not nice either, that I'm very daring, that I'm abnormally sarcastic (really? I'm stunned!), that my superhero name is the Awesome Freak and that my stripper name is Cherry RazorSpank.

I really like the stripper name. :-)

Another "WTF??!" moment

2009-03-15T02:11:00.003-06:00

Really? I mean, I don't play or even like golf, so I don't know. Is this really that big of a problem? I suppose it could be since the only people I knew who played golf (read: the ex and his buddies) usually like to drink just as much while on the course. But still, what the hell do you have golf carts for? If ya gotta go that bad, ride to the restroom. Have a little dignity.

Warning: graphic, bloody photo ahead

2009-02-23T00:10:00.006-06:00

Really, not joking. If you might be squeamish, don't proceed.

OK, you had your chance (but this photo isn't the one in question).

Here's a photo of my son sitting in a local hospital emergency room on Sunday afternoon. He ripped his hand open while helping a neighbor split logs with a logsplitter. They were wearing proper safety equipment, but D.J. put his hand in the wrong spot and - "nom, nom, nom," says the logsplitter.

I was walking Lucy at the time down by the canal near our house. My brother was at the house doing some electrical work, so he gave me the heads up. Our neighbor and his friend talked to me and offered to pay his medical bills, which was really nice. They felt bad about the accident, but there's no blame on their part. It was just an accident, and D.J. already is wearing it like a badge of honor. He was taking pictures with his cell and sending texts to his friends and grandmother. He also had me take pictures.

It took so long at the hospital because the course of treatment kept being ramped up. It went from just stitches to X-rays. Then X-rays found a small fracture and a doctor came in to look. Then the PA came in to stitch and started to clean up the wound and saw a joint. That brought in an ortho doctor, who decided to take D.J. to surgery.

Then came the hardest part of the whole affair - getting D.J. into a hospital gown and convincing him to take off his underwear. I mean, he is 15. What finally did the trick was telling him that if he didn't do it, the nurses would do it for him before he got into the operating room. I must be sure to remember to embarrass him with this story later.

So, the surgery only lasted 45 minutes and he's fine. He bruised some nerves and has the small break in his pinkie finger. No tendon damage and the jagged cut should heal better than a clean cut. He goes back to the ortho on Thursday for a checkup.

Now, here's what the damage looked like before surgery. Don't complain to me. You were warned!

A shoutout to Nathan and Julie - and pictures!

2009-02-22T02:06:00.008-06:00

So I returned from the very cool Ships & Dip V to plunge back into a crazy work schedule, and then turned around for my week's furlough and a lousy Internet connection from home. Which all means I haven't posted anything else from the trip.

I told this to my cousin Julie when we talked earlier this week. I also said I'd try to update the site.

Here's some random stuff from the cruise/Disney:

BNL people are some of the nicest folks you ever could want to meet. I met several people I recognized from the boards. It was nice to meet them, and I should have met more.

I hope Elliott made it home with a still-charged battery for his camera. Elliott works for Reverb, and he borrowed my charger after introducing himself to me and LeCrete at Tulum in Mexico. His charger had been stolen before the cruise, so he was desperate for a recharge.

Norwegian has the best hot chocolate I've ever tasted. And if it hadn't been so cold (for a Caribbean cruise, at least) I never would have known this.

I was looking forward to the Mountain Goats, and I wasn't disappointed.

Seeing Dave Foley and Kevin McDonald fulfilled me. I still love Kids in the Hall!

As I do every year after the cruise, I'm spending more money on music from new artists/bands I've discovered.

I had the best night in Magic Kingdom - a solo trip (LeCrete called it a night after our dinner in Epcot and a long day already) with Extra Magic Hours. The park cleared after the fireworks and most rides were walk-ons. I had a boat all to myself on Pirates and rode Space Mountain several times as a farewell before it goes down in April for an extended (and much needed) refurb.

I already miss Disney. I'm listening to Sorcerer Radio right now to help ease the withdrawal. I'm hoping to go this summer with my son. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

We discovered that if you are generous with Fast Passes you cannot use, you get good karma. On Saturday, LeCrete and I ate lunch at Le Cellier (OMG, the fillet and cheese soup!). We had FPs to ride Soarin' not long after lunch BUT we still were suffering from post-cruise random "rolling" moments. LeCrete didn't think she could take Soarin' on top of that, so we gave our passes to a couple eating at the table next to us. The next day, someone gave LeCrete FPs for Expedition Everest while I was off getting our own FPs (which meant back-to-back rides. Score!!) and, after we arrived in Epcot to go eat dinner, someone gave us Soarin' FPs that we used after our dinner at Garden Grill (which I was not that pleased with, BTW. Too expensive (about $29 per person) for what you're getting these days). A good lesson.

Anyhoo, I did post a gallery of photos from this trip (like the yawning Bengal tiger from Animal Kingdom), so please enjoy.

Ships & Dip V and Disney

Barenaked balls!

2009-02-06T21:49:00.006-06:00

A quick update since we're back on dry land after Ships & Dip V. I'm not home yet; I'll be at Disney until Monday.

So - on the cruise, I was:
* thoroughly entertained by BNL et all ("Barenaked balls!" and the banjo connection, etc.);
* scarred by a small man in a Speedo;
* scared shitless by the ferry ride from hell;
* awed by the ruins at Tulum;
* happy by making new friends;
* missing my son;
* disappointed that we couldn't stop at the island in the Bahamas;
* surprised that Key West could be so cold;
and much more.

I'll be posting many photos soon. I'm still going through them now. For now, enjoy the shot above from the BNL main show and the one below from the Sarah McLachlan show.

Wrath of Khan opera

2009-01-27T18:08:00.003-06:00

This is pure awesome. A tribute to the late Ricardo Montalban. May my favorite genetic superman turned tyrant rest in peace.

The other Melissa strikes again

2009-01-23T00:06:00.002-06:00

Remember this?

Well, I've received more mail for her AND another telephone call from a collection agency trying to get me to repay about $15,000 in student loans. I told the collection people - AGAIN - that it's not me. "I'm sorry for the call." Yeah, right.

I've also replied to her e-mails - AGAIN.

I'm thinking the time may be fast approaching for some more creative ways to deal with this. Hmmmmmm.......

Today's WTF?!

2009-01-21T18:49:00.004-06:00

Two WTF?! examples, courtesy of the Internets:

And ...

The first one is just sad, really, really sad. If you must order this to feel better about yourself, you really should rethink things. Maybe see a professional. Because I guarantee the people selling this to you are laughing their asses off at you.

The first one? Yeah, it's WTF?, but I could have fun with it. Who hasn't wanted to shoot their alarm clock?

The two Melissas

2009-01-12T00:51:00.006-06:00

My last name is not my original last name; it's my married name. After my divorce, I made the decision to keep it for the sake of my son. I figured that divorce and an absent father was tough enough for a kid to take, so why try to explain to a 2 year old why mommy's last name was not the same as his.

Of course, it didn't hurt that my married name was a hell of a lot easier to spell and say than my maiden name. Ah, my German roots.

Years pass by, and one day I open an Gmail account. Love it. More time passes, and I start getting odd e-mails - all addressed to me, but the e-mail address itself is missing a period in a strategic place. Gmail insists this e-mail is meant for me.

No, it is not.

It's meant for another Melissa G____, someone who appears to work in the medical field. Every few months, I'll get another of her e-mails. I've gotten notes asking me to come into some guy's office (ummm, no), inviting me to backyard barbecues (yum!), telling me I've been accepted into certain psychology programs or confirming job applications (I could have fun with those) and asking about family Christmas gifts.

I always reply to the sender, telling them they've got the wrong Melissa. I never hear back from these people. But, just before Christmas, I did hear from the other Melissa. Seems my reply to the family e-mail resulted in a message getting through to her. She apologized and was really nice about it.

I just sent her a reply because I got another e-mail, this one about a medical conference she signed up for in Atlanta. It had her telephone number (California) and other personal info in it. It's a good thing I'm a honest person, huh?

Boothby Graffoe

2009-01-09T20:57:00.000-06:00

I can't wait to go on vacation and enjoy all the great music that will be on the Norwegian Jewel! One of the acts will be Boothby Graffoe, a comedian I discovered far too late on last year's Ships & Dip III. I was in the audience during the performance I'm posting here. I was laughing so hard I was crying. The songwriters' panel was a dream come true; I really wish it would be back for next month's cruise.

Christmas pictures

2009-01-04T03:39:00.003-06:00

That's my son, D.J., opening his own camera on Christmas Day. Let me say that the boy desperately needs a haircut. *sigh*

He got a camera for Christmas (thanks, LeCrete!!) because he's discovered his own love of photography. Which is great, but he kept wanting to borrow MY camera. And since I just bought a nice Canon SLR, I was very nervous. Now the only thing I have to endure is him taking pictures of me that are very unflattering. Oh well.

Here's another Christmas photo that I like: my middle nephew, Austin, with my doggie, Rosie.

It's a new year!

2009-01-02T22:36:00.003-06:00

Thank goodness 'cause 2008 was just - for the most part - toxic. Sure, there was some good - lots of good. But some of the bad stuff just seemed to overshadow everything. Every person I know was ready for the new year, more than willing to say adieu to 2008.

The picture above is of Spitfire, AKA "Whoopass," as he's known around our house. He rules the neighborhood. He's sweet to us humans, but all business to the cats. Strange tomcats fear him; lady cats fall under his spell. He's pretty funny.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-19T17:27:00.002-06:00

A quick note to say that I'm freakin' dying here!!!!!! Forty-three days left until the cruise and TODAY they announce that Sarah McLachlan is also going to be aboard. I am one happy, happy woman!

And, if I'm reading my e-mail right, the same ticket I have to the BNL headliner show will be good for the Sarah show - front and center, second row. Just slap my ass and call me Judy!!!

Thanks to everyone who made this possible. I'll be living off caffeine and No-Doz for the whole week. Too much to do and see; no time for sleep.

I don't know why I was compelled

2008-12-18T18:58:00.007-06:00

A friend forwarded this e-mail to me the other day, and I usually hate those forwarded e-mails with a passion. Part of this one, however, was "advice" for northerners who were moving south. I decided to go through it, point by point, and see just how true these were. I was surprised.

So, I present my take (in italics) on the tips for northerners moving south:

1. If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. True: I've seen this happen. Unfortunately, the person in the ditch was driving drunk and the redneck still was eager to pull the idiot out of the ditch. The police arrived in the nick of time and the redneck was denied.

2. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store...do not buy food at this store. 'Cause you know this is the same type of roadside convenience store that has the little "deli" inside it with deep-fried food that has festered under heat lights for hours. I've been in these stores. Do not buy food there.

3. Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive. I will admit to using the singular and plural forms of this southern expression. I don't believe I've ever used the plural possessive, thank the gods. I still prefer y'all to my northern cousins' expression, "yous guys." WTF is that?

4. Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?' I've used this expression several times, always with good cause.

5. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it. My mother once saw me attempt to throw some bacon grease out. She shouted at me to save it. Why? I have no idea. She never told me. I don't cook much, which I'm sure is an embarrassment to a proper Southern woman like my mother.

6. Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. Not necessarily true. I once was talking to a non-Southerner who asked where I lived. I told her, and she said (in a surprised tone) that I didn't sound like I was from the South. I told her I also wore shoes almost all the time.

7. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' as in big’ol truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper. I'll counter that "y'all" is the first Southern term to creep into the vocabulary of the transplanted.

8. Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here. This is true. I've used it (or a version of this like "He needs to be taken out and shot."), as have friends of mine, when we read or hear stories about the lower life forms who kill, molest or maim.

9. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say. Stay out of the way, but don't look away. The resulting accident likely will be amusing and you could have a great YouTube or Failblog hit on your hands.

10. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there. Very true. You can include ice in this directive, as well. You might consider things such as milk, bread, canned goods, batteries, but you're really there to stock up on beer and booze - which you can buy in the grocery store down South. None of that ABC store crap!

11. Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. My father gave my son a shotgun for his second Christmas. He's rarely shot it, so I'm not sure if he's proficient, and I certainly didn't teach him how to aim it. I, however, am a rarity because there are plenty of redneck mammas who do indeed teach this stuff. I taught my son how to play Grand Theft Auto. I'll take the virtual guns over the real thing.

12. In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush, green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. There is no such thing as a lush, green lawn around my area. You might see green in the spring, but the inevitable drought and heat soon turns everything a nice, crispy shade of brown.

13. AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits. This is somewhat true. I moved to the South from Ohio when I was 7. My mother was born and raised here. I still know people that consider me a "Yankee." These people seem to think I care what they think.

We're booked!

2008-12-17T17:47:00.006-06:00

Well, it's about time that the crappy economy works in my favor. LeCrete and I booked rooms today for our upcoming vacation and SCORE! Because no one is traveling, we got some good deals on Disney hotels.

We're driving down (no, I don't fly) to Miami, so we'll be spending the night in Orlando. It's a zip down Western Way to WDW off the Florida Turnpike, and Coronado Springs is the first hotel you hit on property. It's a moderate resort, and it cost me $100 for a Friday night. Sweet.

And, as always, we stop for a weekend at Disney on our way back home. Hey, I didn't buy that annual pass for nothing! We'll be getting into Orlando early on Feb. 6 and staying at the Saratoga Springs Resort, which is a deluxe. Three nights in a suite for $604. Not bad.

It's near Downtown Disney, so I must exercise control and not go crazy at the shops.

I'm, of course, looking forward to this. I've never stayed at either of these resorts. Time will tell if the deals were as good as the resorts.

Pollywog in a Bog

2008-12-17T01:17:00.002-06:00

I freakin' love this song! Oh, and did you know it's just 45 days until the Ships & Dip V cruise? Yes, I am counting the days.

The definition of "WANT"

2008-12-16T23:35:00.005-06:00

From the Alexandria Christmas Parade on Sunday. I have tried adding my Picasa slideshow to the little widget up to the right, but it's not recognizing it - and I'm not the only one this has happened to, according to other bloggers. So, here it is! Maybe the widget will pick it up eventually.

I want Ball Busters for Christmas, Ma!

2008-12-11T18:17:00.004-06:00

This is the funniest thing I've seen in some time. Gotta love the 70s.

Again, is it January yet?

2008-12-07T05:05:00.002-06:00

Look at that! Just look! It's gorgeous, blue on blue water that's warm during winter months, just inviting you to take a dip and relax.

I shot this last January as our boat was pulling up to Stingray City, a sandbar off Grand Cayman where you can swim with tame (or so say the locals who depend on our cash for their business) stingrays. I got a surprise when I jumped off the ladder into the water and found it was over my head (I'm kinda short). Stingrays were everywhere, eating out of people's hands. LeCrete and I swam around, taking pictures of the rays and just enjoying the water. Really, there were far too many people there on that day to enjoy the spot. There were seven cruise ships in port that day. A regular traffic jam on the high seas.

Still, it freakin' beats a work day. I even shot some video once we got back aboard the boat. See?

And, to think, I'll be leaving for Miami next month for another cruise - to Mexico! I can't wait.

RIP, Beverly Garland

2008-12-06T23:28:00.002-06:00

Actress Beverly Garland died Friday after battling a lengthly illness. She was 82.

For me - and legions of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fans - Garland was much more than a B-movie actress. She was the woman who fought a giant pickle from space, the widow who became a sheriff and fought the bad guys who killed her wimpy husband, the tough prison chick who just wanted to get her hands on Mike "Touch" Conners.

Just watch:

RIP, Ms. Garland.

I am so ready to sail

2008-11-30T01:28:00.002-06:00

Sixty-two days until my next vacation. I wish it were two, or even six, days. I'm ready to go sailing on a big ship to the pretty blue water and the warm sunshine, listening to many great bands (BNL is the top draw for me, but I'm really excited for Gaelic Storm, Butterfly Boucher, Great Big Sea, Boothby Graffoe and more) as I'm blissfully cut off from all cell phones and computers.

But 62 days until Ships & Dip 5. I'm getting all excited because it's almost time to sign up for shore excursions, a sure sign that the cruz-ah is getting closer. We're eyeing a tour of some Mayan ruins, which should be cool. Our second port call is on the cruise line's private island, which means snorkeling, trekking through the island and - of course - an adult beverage or two.

Facing death

2008-11-29T15:51:00.004-06:00

My wrist really has been bothering me these last few days, as rainy weather hangs in our area. It's done this since I had surgery a few years ago to remove a ganglion cyst, a painful little bugger. Normally I would bitch about this pain, but I've refrained because of what a friend's husband is enduring right now.

He's had multiple health issues over the past few years, and now is in the hospital with failing kidneys and an overtaxed heart. He's not been an easy patient to care for and, at one point, seemed to just give up. But it was something my mother said that really caught my attention - that he would squeeze her hand tightly when she held his, and that he was scared.

I find that sad, really depressing. I hope that when I'm faced with my time to die, I can face it with acceptance and curiosity about what - if anything - comes next. Being scared seems such a waste of what little time you do have left.

It puts my wrist pain into perspective. The rain will clear and the pain will subside. Still, I hope these thoughts will remain with me always.

And if that's too depressing for you, enjoy a picture of Lucy and Rosie frolicking about:

A surprise

2008-11-23T00:18:00.003-06:00

I had to track down a train derailment this morning and wasn't too happy because it was in the middle of BFE and nobody could be reached to give me good directions. I finally found it, but I also found a nice little stream.

I guess the day wasn't a total loss.

Halloween Horror Nights

2008-11-15T23:20:00.010-06:00

Had a blast this year; much better quality compared to last year. The scareactors in the scarezones were full-on awesome. Their costumes were amazing. I enjoyed all the houses, but Interstellar Terror, Creatures and Body Collectors were the best IMHO. The construction on Interstellar Terror was very impressive. Creatures was just a blast. Gay rednecks? Oh yes, girl! Many thanks to that one scareactor in the kitchen scene. We laughed about that for hours. And Body Collectors was the creepiest. I loved it! The operating theater ruled! I thought the weakest house was Dead Exposure. I could feel what they were going for, but it just didn't make it. So, here's some photos from this year's experience:

From the Asylum of Terror scarezone:

From the Path of the Wicked scarezone:

Asylum in Wonderland again:

Zombie squad:

You can see more pictures from my Orlando trip here or by checking out "More pixelated life" at left.

And wtf can't I get rid of that little title? Anyone? Bueller?

UPDATE: Finally had to switch features from the album to a slideshow. Geez.

The disappearing Mickey!

2008-11-14T20:15:00.005-06:00

On my Disney vacation, I caught a showing of Fantasmic. Love the show. I was there by myself, so I sat closer to the front and on the left - a first for me. It wasn't until I looked at the photos after I returned to my hotel room that I found I had a disappearing Mickey.

Observe:

Ta-da!

Hello, again!

2008-11-09T23:52:00.005-06:00

Been busy - work, vacation, work, kid stuff. You know the drill. But here's the latest.

My animal magnetism is still working. On a recent Sunday, my son and I decided to hit some area lakes and take a leisurely drive. Nice enough - until I rounded a corner of a deep country road and had to stop for the dog sitting in the road. She would not move. I opened my door, and she hopped into my car and curled up on the floorboard at my feet. Well you know what happened next.

Yep, this is Lucy. She had just had puppies not long before I found her; I mean just hours before I found her. No puppies could be found by us. Very sad. She's not yet 2, according to my vet, and probably was a hunting dog lost or left behind. Her paw pads were peeling and bleeding, too. Now she's spayed and putting on some weight. She has become best buddy to Rosie and they spend their days running around our front yard, playing and competing with each other for someone's attentions. They've also torn up many of my mother's plants, so this weekend I'll be preparing the backyard for them.

Still, my son and I did get to enjoy a late warm autumn day. See?

My father loves William Shatner

2008-10-29T12:46:00.003-06:00

And it's because of this "Boston Legal" clip that someone recently sent him via e-mail. He's watched it over and over and laughs every time.

Of course, my father showed me this clip because I have been a "Star Trek" fan since I was a wee little girl. In elementary school, my brother and I used to rush off the bus at the end of the day to be in front of the TV when "Star Trek" reruns aired. My friends and I played "Star Trek" on the school grounds. I still have an extensive collection of books and stuff.

I find this funny, but for different reasons than my father. He's a Republican, lifelong NRA member; I'm a liberal and I don't particularly like guns, although I would not hesitate to defend myself and my family with one. I'm not stupid, either.

A dispatch from Orlando

2008-10-15T21:43:00.002-06:00

No photo here because I'm on a computer at the Contemporary Resort and it has "restrictions." Phooey!

Still, had to update to at least say I'm having a wonderful time here. I'm managing to relax quite a bit, though I'm finding myself worrying about my career future. Not the best time to be in the newspaper business, or a lot of other businesses.

Oh well. It's Epcot tomorrow! I'll have many, many photos from Universal, Halloween Horror Nights and Disney when I return.

Year of the Frog

2008-09-27T20:28:00.005-06:00

It's the year of the frog, ya know. Here's a fellow that visited my house. I rescued him before the kitties did him in.

It's all better in black and white, honey!

2008-09-26T17:57:00.012-06:00

I've been playing around my with new camera - a Canon Rebel XTi. So far, I love it. It's going to be enjoyed soooooo much on my upcoming vacation (less than two weeks away, but who's counting?).

I really love black and white shots, so here are a few of my furry friends.

Look at those puppy-dog eyes! This is Rosie, and I think the flash kinda scared her. Right after this shot, she was only too happy to jump on the bed with me.

Suzie sleeping. She's a hyper kitty, always running through the house. She'll come sit in your lap for two seconds and then jump up again. The champion bug catcher in the house.

Killer, also sleeping. See a pattern here? Well, cats don't sit still like dogs do. Killer is my special baby, the smallest runt of a litter I've ever seen. Still, he was a fighter and held his own against seven littermates.

Snowball, AKA "Psycho." Our newest member of the household, a stray who showed up from somewhere. He's absolutely crazy, but in a funny way. He's also extremely affectionate.

Ah, Cedric. He did not like the flash, as you can tell. Ced is my son's dog, a tough guy who survived two abusive households and injuries to his front legs (before he came to us) that rendered one useless. He's got issues, but we forgive him since he's endured so much.

This is Maddox, who actually is my nephew's cat. If he looks a little wired, he's on pain medication for two - two! - broken hips. The vet thinks it's a genetic defect because he hasn't had any injuries or incidents lately. I've written about Maddox before - here and here.

A day at the zoo

2008-09-07T22:09:00.006-06:00

I go to the zoo a lot. Well, not like every week, but I always love to go strolling through the zoo and watching the animals - the four-legged and the two-legged. One can be just as entertaining as the other.

Above is Bailey, a spider monkey. I'm pretty sure I've got the right name. Anyway, Bailey shares an enclosure with another young spider monkey and they're wonderful to watch. They seem to relish showing off for the camera. I've filmed them on stills and video and they always play to the camera.

And the tigers? Well, they're just beautiful. I'm glad we have a few white tigers here. As a Cincinnati native, I've been to that city's zoo many times to view their famous tigers.

In the photo below, I caught this tiger just coming out of the den. In the photo above, the tiger (Kumar, I think) was not happy with an approaching group of men. The men weren't bothering or teasing the tiger; he just didn't like it. Quite fascinating to see, really, but a tad frightening at the same time.

Such a beautiful creature!

Rain, but not Gustav rain

2008-09-06T23:52:00.010-06:00

Normally, I love rain showers and thunderstorms. The great Gustav flood of 2008 is an exception. So a few weeks before Gustav even was a concern for us, I snapped these pictures from my front porch during a thunderstorm.

Much more soothing than scenes of flooding, don't ya think?

Gustav's gone and we don't like Ike

2008-09-05T20:13:00.006-06:00

That was the view of my front yard on Wednesday, two days after Hurricane Gustav tore through Central Louisiana. And it was exactly what I feared would happen, but we were most certainly luckier than thousands throughout our area - though the waters rose, we didn't flood and we didn't sustain any major damage. Others were not so fortunate.

On Monday, Gustav brought high winds and a lot of rain. Trees fell, some buildings were damaged, two people died. People started cleaning up on Tuesday. New Orleans was safe, so the Republicans started partying.

But on Tuesday evening, the rain started. Gustav decided to stay a little while longer in Louisiana and dumped - what the official record says - 9.5 inches of rain during the storm. The rain gauge at my house recorded more than 12 inches.

I woke up around 4:30 a.m. Wednesday and kept an eye on the water level around our home, which already was high. I went to sleep at 5:30 and woke up at 7 a.m. when my mother said, "We're flooded."

Our house was an island. I called in to work to let someone know I wasn't coming in. I was afraid we'd have to leave this time and there was no way in hell I was going to leave my parents and my son - not to mention the furrier members of the family. The water kept rising all morning, but by the early afternoon it had stopped. I did go to the office for a few hours, but I wasn't in the best of moods (that's an understatement).

So we've watched the water recede a little each day. And I've watched fish swim in my front yard. A cool thing to happen out of such misery. My dad joked that he always wanted to live on a houseboat.

Of course, we're watching Hurricane Ike's progress and praying it doesn't head our way. I know that means certain misery for someone else, but another storm like Gustav would devastate this area.

Bracing for Gustav

2008-08-31T20:55:00.005-06:00

The scene at a local gas station on Friday as people started freaking out about Hurricane Gustav. Or, more likely, people wanted to fill up their tanks before the price of gas started spiking again. I know I did. Not such a bad idea, since stations began running out of gas by late Saturday. This location had a police officer stationed there by Saturday afternoon.

We're expected to see Gustav pass directly over us beginning around noon tomorrow. By 10 p.m., we're expected to have hurricane-force winds. Up to 20 inches of rain forecast to fall.

I'll be shooting some video and - of course - photos that I can post later, if we have electricity to do so. Meanwhile, here's hoping that everyone in Gustav's path will stay safe. Good luck!

A new name!

2008-08-26T00:25:00.003-06:00

I decided to change the blog name because, while my kitties mean the world to me, I realize that what started out as enthusiasm for them turned into a way to post some of my favorite pictures. This blog, even if no one reads it, has allowed me to rediscover a great love of mine - photography. It's been dormant in my life for years and I've been thrilled to find that I still love it just as much, probably more.

So welcome to a pixelated life.

Softball's over; school's in

2008-08-12T16:27:00.004-06:00

But, for the really good news - vacation is now less than 60 days away. Aaahhhh!!!! It's that thought that's carrying me through this intensely nasty sinus headache I've had today. The kind where it feels like someone has hooked their fingers through my eye sockets and it drilling away at my temples and sinus cavity. A real joy.

So, do you know what it feels like to stand outside for eight hours in 104-degree heat? It's a bit uncomfortable. But I and my co-workers made it through the various Dixie Youth softball World Series tournaments held here last week. It was an interesting time. Once again I was thankful that my child never had the desire to participate in team sports.

I saw some good softball and good sportsmenship, but I also saw pettiness, bad conduct and waaay too many adults hoisting their own ambitions/failings on kids too young to carry those burdens.

So after that was over and I slept for about a day, it was time to get D.J. back into school. It's the eighth grade this year and that means LEAP. He floated through last year and barely passed and barely was concerned about it - until he realized that there was the very real possibility he could fail. It's only the second day of school, but I do detect a new attitude in him. Time will tell.

Now, I'm off to quiz him about homework, supply lists, fees, etc.

If only he bathed with this much enthusiasm

2008-07-31T17:12:00.003-06:00

I'm kidding my offspring (well ...). This is one of my absolute favorite photos. It was taken last summer at Discovery Cove in Orlando. D.J. really was having a blast diving to the bottom of this lazy river that circles the park. It's our favorite part of the park and I can't wait to return next summer.

I Want(ed) To Believe ...

2008-07-25T23:49:00.010-06:00

that the X-Files movie wouldn't suck.

WARNING: THIS CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS, SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Well, it didn't suck, but it also wasn't worth waiting six years. Don't get me wrong; I loved seeing Mulder and Scully back in action - sorta action. I guess I just miss the days when they flashed badges, tiny flashlights and guns.

There was a lot of talking and a lot more discussion of the Mulder-Scully relationship than I expected. But so many questions were left unanswered. And I really hated how they ended things. Do they think fans really would be happy knowing Mulder continues to sit and clip articles while Scully goes back to the hospital? Yeah, they're together, but is Mulder a freakin' house husband now? What a waste.

And definitely not enough Skinner.

OK, I wrote that stuff last night after seeing the movie. I thought about it some more and I finally hit on what was bothering me so much about the way Mulder and Scully were portrayed. Now, call me crazy (and I could change my mind if I saw the movie again), but I detected an air of defeat from both characters. Scully didn't want herself or Mulder involved with the FBI again, Mulder wanted to and then retreats back to the house at the end. Have they sacrificed everything they once believed in to be with each other? Or have their characters just matured to the point or been through too much so that they no longer need to be on "the quest?"

In the end, I don't think The X-Files ever will be a viable movie franchise because they so hopelessly butchered the last few seasons of the show. Don't even get me started on The Lone Gunmen. I'm still pissed about that.

I prefer the quest for the truth and the monsters of the week, myself. Thank goodness for my DVDs and fan fiction.

I am such a geek.

Sometimes, I really love my job

2008-07-19T21:58:00.003-06:00

OK - imagine this. You work at a newspaper and one day you find out one of your childhood heroes is coming to town and you can meet him. *squeee!*

That was my general reaction when I found out that Johnny Bench, the greatest catcher EVAR in the history of baseball, was coming to town. I did get to meet him and it was awesome. I was going to show him the ticket stub I still have from the 1979 Reds game where he broke the all-time home run record for a catcher (at Riverfront Stadium against the Montreal Expos), but - alas! - I couldn't speed through my renovations fast enough to get to the photo album that contained it.

I remember that moment very clearly. Me and my family were visiting my grandparents in Cincinnati (I was born there, but moved to Louisiana when I was 7. I am still waiting on the pony my father promised me we'd get when we moved to the country.) and we decided to go see the Big Red Machine. Bench hit that homer and my father leaned over and said, "Keep that ticket stub." And I have, even though the record has long been broken.

My other childhood hero? George Brett. I was quite into baseball as a kid. I still love it, but don't get to enjoy it often.

But just the other day, I had one of those baseball moments. One of those moments when it seems all is right with the world. One second, it just hits you - a sense of utter contentment.

Let me set the scene. It was dusk, the end of a hot day under blue skies with puffy white clouds. An all-star baseball game that - at the time - was quite close. I was standing near the third-base dugout with my video camera, dodging the occasional foul ball pinged my way. Kids were cheering from dugouts, fans were cheering from the stands, smoke and the deee-licious aroma from nearby barbecue pits were drifting over the field.

That's when it hit me. "This is summer," is the thought that ran through my head. And that cozy contented feeling just settled into my very bones. Not a bad way to spend a working day.

"You'll never guess where I'm calling you from!"

2008-06-14T23:57:00.007-06:00

(Video is of us riding Doctor's Fearfall. I'd suggest you mute or turn down your volume.)

Well, the Universal hotel room is booked for our annual October trip. We used to pride ourselves on being frugal, getting a great deal. Oh, but we've been spoiled.

We stayed in the Portofino last October. It helped that it was months between the time I booked at $300 per night and the time we actually arrived. The time - combined with an insane need for a work break - dulled any pain I might have felt about paying that much for a room I really didn't spend that much time in.

But what really sold us - me, LeCrete and Kim (don't know about Bob; do guys get psyched about this kind of thing?) - were the bathrooms. They were as big as the rooms! Big shower, phone by the toilet, huge counter with double sinks, phone by the toilet. I briefly thought about calling my son from the toilet phone, but flushed that idea (get it?! I'll be here all week, folks!) after getting a room service bill for $40 for a pizza, salad and two small drinks. I hate to think what a long-distance call would have cost.

And with all the photos I took last year, I never snapped pictures of these great bathrooms. Still, I'll get the chance again since we're headed back to the Portofino.

The swanky hotel thing even is extending to Disney this year. We'll spend four nights at Universal for Halloween Horror Nights and then move over to the Mouse for six nights. We're looking at Magic Kingdom resorts on the monorail line. That's definitely a step up from our usual Pop Century value resort, which I love and will definitely stay at again.

Let's face it; by the time this trip is over, value deals are all I'll be able to afford.

Now I know why he was a stray

2008-06-05T17:31:00.003-06:00

This is Snowball, the newest member of our brood. He arrived - in true cliche form - on our doorstep a few months ago, wearing a flea collar and no identification. I asked, I drove surrounding neighborhoods seeking "LOST" fliers and watched the classified ads - nada, zip, zilch.

So, I carted him off to the vet, had him neutered and christened him Snowball. He's ours.

Now that he's comfortable around the others - Killer, Maddox, Prissy and Suzy - his personality really is coming through. Too bad it's the personality of a deranged psycho. But it's a playful kinda psycho. In the above picture, he's attacking my mattress I have propped up in a hallway (my bedroom is undergoing extensive renovation right now). He likes to run, take flying leaps and either hang off the side of the mattress or run up and down it.

Don't get me wrong; I like that. He makes life very interesting.

Would ya take 10¢ for this?

2008-04-29T20:56:00.004-06:00

So said someone to me at the last garage sale I hosted. I'm not a garage sale kinda gal, but I am holding one on Saturday and Sunday, May 10-11. And it's for a cause near and dear to my heart - my father.

To be more precise, it's to help my father and mother (that's them in the photo) with their expenses as they travel back and forth to Houston for my father's cancer treatment at MD Anderson. They've seen their savings shrink, but - on the most positive of notes - my father's lung cancer is in remission.

My parents are luckier than some folks. They have health insurance, which has done a good job of covering Dad's medical bills. But what health insurance doesn't cover are things like gasoline (yikes!), hotel room, meals, frequent maintenance on their vehicle and other tidbits.

I am emptying my storage unit - furniture, a few appliances, knick-knacks, books, LOTS of Star Trek stuff (I am a geek!), kitchen stuff and more. I've invited people to donate goods to be sold. All money generated from the garage sale will be given to Mom and Dad.

It's not much, but it's a good first step. Consider this an invitation to anyone who reads this to stop by our garage sale and buy some stuff or donate to the cause. If you're interested, contact me at melissa.gregory@gmail.com for more information.

Many thanks!!

Big Thunder Mountain!

2008-03-21T22:06:00.002-06:00

So I'm a bit depressed that my son and I aren't going to Orlando this summer for our annual two-week vacation. We're going on a big family vacation to Cincinnati, the land of my birth.

This picture is from the queue on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad at Magic Kingdom. It's my son's favorite ride. He was upset that he wouldn't be riding it this summer. I'm starting to think about a long weekend this summer, instead of two weeks. We so gotta go back!!

This picture was taken in early February, after my Ships & Dip III cruise. The sun was setting and gave a really nice effect for this shot.

My, how the time flies! sniff

2008-02-27T12:38:00.003-06:00

This is Maddox, months after this photo. In the first photo, he was a too-adorable kitten and loved to be cuddled.

Now?

He's a irritable grump who doesn't like to be picked up and loves nothing better than for people to leave him alone and let him sun himself or take naps all day. I still love him though. Here, he's enjoying a sunny nap on my bed.

Grrrrr ...

2008-02-17T01:40:00.002-06:00

There was much debate on the cruise between LeCrete and me about Steve's beard. She didn't like it; I very much did. Very much.

Ed, with "Rock Face"

2008-02-15T18:27:00.002-06:00

I laughed when I saw this one because the guys once made a joke about "rock face." This is "rock face" in action, or Ed has a bug on his guitar.

Must go home and play Guitar Hero now. Toodles!

Relax ...

2008-02-13T12:17:00.002-06:00

I really miss being at sea. The sunsets and sunrises are spectacular, moments when you can pause and really appreciate the beauty right in front of you. Some of the best moments of the Ships & Dip III cruise for me were spent on my balcony at these times, or in the middle of the night. The stars were amazing! I even got to see a few shooting stars.

You may not be at sea, but you certainly can stop long enough to appreciate the beauty around you. Right?

More Ships & Dip

2008-02-06T17:47:00.001-06:00

This is another shot from the Tuesday main show aboard Carnival Victory. I love the color here, very vibrant. Stay tuned for more cruise pics!

No problem, mon

2008-02-02T23:56:00.000-06:00

How awesome was the Ships & Dip III cruise? The photo should tell you a lot. Many, many, many thanks to BNL, Sixthman and everyone who helped pull this off because I had an amazing time. I just can't say enough about how gracious the Ladies are, entertaining and mingling with a few thousand of us crazy fans.

This photo probably is my favorite from the trip (at least for now). It's Steven Page and was shot during the first main show in the Caribbean Lounge aboard the Carnival Victory. We were somewhere between Grand Cayman and Jamaica at the time. We had seats at the end of the second row, Steve side.

As for the cruise itself, here's a quick rundown:
* Victory layout was very confusing for many people. I was lost a lot of the time.
* Food was hit-or-miss, but there ya go.
* Port calls were interesting. Grand Cayman was nice; Jamaica (Ocho Rios) was beautiful, but very touristy. Kinda disappointing and I learned to never drive in Jamaica. Insane!!!, but "no problem, mon," according to our driver.
* Got my BNL fix big time, and discovered a few new artists (the Handsome Family, Jason Plumb, Boothby Graffoe).

And, though The Queen is very pro-feline, I did laugh my butt off at Boothby Graffoe's "Kittens in a Bag."

Settin' sail!

2008-01-26T23:51:00.000-06:00

What you see is the view from my hotel room in downtown Miami. The ocean is just beyond those tall buildings. I am here for one night, waiting to board the Carnival Victory Sunday for a five-day cruise to Grand Cayman and Jamaica with the Barenaked Ladies. Oh, many good times are ahead.

After the cruise, it's off to Disney! Well, I spent the night there last night, but didn't visit any of the parks. Still, it was so nice to be there. *sigh*

Stay tuned for Ships & Dip updates!

Moon over Alexandria

2008-01-19T21:00:00.000-06:00

I was driving to work today and was struck by how blue the sky was, and by the moon clearly visible in the sky (search for it; granted, it was easier to see in person than in a photo taken with a point-and-shoot). Don't ask me to name which phase that would be - waxing crescent, first quarter, waxing gibbous, waning gibbous, last quarter or waning crescent. I have no idea and I had to look those up with my Google-fu.

The church is St. Francis Xavier Cathedral in downtown Alexandria. It's beautiful and thought it would make a fitting backdrop for this shot.

Stop, look and listen

2008-01-15T22:03:00.001-06:00

Shot taken as I waited for the Pineville Christmas parade to start last month. It's a train, and today it feels like one has run me over.

Is it time to go on vacation yet?

Introducing, Killer

2008-01-09T18:05:00.000-06:00

Thought I'd post a cat picture since I've been lax in that lately. Shame on me.

This is Killer, although he doesn't look the part in this pose. He was sleeping on my bed, along with my dog Rosie. And no, they didn't bother to leave room for me.

Killer got his name because he was the runt of his litter. His mother, Katrina, was the product of another litter born at my place when her mother arrived on our doorstep. Katrina and her sister, Rita, were named for the hurricanes that proceeded them by a few weeks. I decided to name them - the only two in the litter - as I sat in the dark and listened to Rita whip around our house. But I digress.

Killer still fit into the palm of my hand while his litter mates were much bigger. But he always was a fighter, hence his name. He would claw and push his way through the others (six brothers and sisters, mind you!) to eat. While the others found homes, I couldn't part with him. I'm such a sucker.

Argh, mateys!

2008-01-08T17:53:00.000-06:00

This photo is not the best, but I like the effect I got as we were drifting through the fog (actually the Davy Jones effect from Pirates of the Caribbean ride at WDW) and the little girl threw up her hands.

Pirates is one of my favorite rides at WDW. Maybe in February I'll ride it with some of the board members from WDW Magic. Just found out today that there's a little meet-and-greet on Super Bowl Sunday. Since I care not for the Super Bowl, I'll be there!

My, what big teeth you have!

2008-01-06T00:57:00.000-06:00

It's not a great shot, but I like it. It's the last shot before you plunge over the drop on the Jurassic River Ride at Universal's Islands of Adventure in Orlando.

I post this because - in just under three weeks - I'll be setting off for Florida again. 'Tis vacation time! Another cruise with the Barenaked Ladies (to Jamaica and Grand Cayman; Grand Turk was last year), followed by a weekend in Orlando at Disney. Since we're missing Mardi Gras here, we may jet over to Universal briefly for their Mardi Gras celebration.

With a bonus night in Miami, we are sure to have a blast and I'll have tons of new pictures to share.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-03T18:09:00.000-06:00

So it's a few days late! Enjoy the sentiment all the same. Can you guess what we did over the holiday? This would be my nephew, Ashton.

FYI (and edited to acknowledge): Hi to the folks from Pineville who dropped by this blog! Welcome!

So the season begins ...

2007-12-05T13:12:00.000-06:00

I froze my butt off taking these photos! It was our city's kickoff (I hate that word, yet use it). to the holiday season. The fireworks were pretty good- not Disney quality, but I guess the mouse has spoiled me. It was chilly and the fireworks were right on the river, which didn't help at all.

It's not easy being green ...

2007-11-09T23:58:00.001-06:00

... especially when some crazy woman keeps messin' with your branch!!

I met this little guy this past weekend, while I was outside working away at projects long neglected. I'm happy to say that lots was accomplished.

I was surprised to see this tree frog since our weather has been turning cooler. In the spring and summer, our property is invaded by these guys. They always get into the house and give the Queen's felines something fun to chase. Sometimes I can help the hoppers outside; sometimes they ain't so lucky.

They don't usually stick around when you get too close, so I'm glad I was able to get this shot. I love it.

HHN rocked!

2007-11-02T21:48:00.000-06:00

Got to take a few shots at Halloween Horror Nights, which was so much fun. The houses were great (with the exception of the vampire house) - great details and some really good scares by the scareactors. Great job, everyone! I'm already looking forward to next year.

I love this shot for a few reasons. I like taking night shots (and I'm even happier when they turn out OK) and this kinda gives a creepy vibe.

If you love Halloween and haven't visited Orlando for HHN yet, you must do it! It's a blast!

Black cats and black widows update

2007-11-01T09:44:00.001-06:00

Yes, this is the little kitten the assholes left in my yard a few weeks ago. She's adorable and she also has a new name - Suzy.

My father has become quite attached to her. She reminds him of a cat that his grandmother had when he was a kid. That cat was named Suzy and my mother asked if we could call her Suzy for him. That's fine with me, but I'm calling her "Suzy Sabrina Esmerelda." Quite the mouthful.

Black cats and black widows

2007-10-13T23:22:00.000-06:00

Halloween is my favorite holiday. I love the chills, the fun, the twisted freaks. But this year, it's visiting me early.

Friday morning I awoke to hear a kitten meowing like mad in my yard. It knew where to find the Queen. Actually, the assholes who dumped it on my street knew where to find the Queen. So I accepted the new subject - a black kitten around 8 weeks old I named Sabrina. I wanted to name her Esmerelda, but my son objected mightily. Something about it being nerdy.

Then, as I was getting ready for work, I reached out to move the shower curtain and almost laid hands upon a black widow spider. Now, the Queen hates spiders as much - probably more, to be truthful - as I love cats. I killed the spider (with photo goodness of said dead spider) without an ounce of remorse. I don't care that spiders are benefical for the environment, ecosystem, whatever. I don't want 'em near me. Sabrina can stay.

Ain't it grand?

2007-10-06T22:00:00.000-06:00

Behold, Spaceship Earth! I love it. It's majestic and an engineering marvel. I've never seen it without "the wand," as wand-haters call it, but I will in just two weeks. I never minded the wand, but I have a feeling I'll be struck anew at SSE's awesomeness when I see it as designers intended it to be.

Oh, and I've also concluded that I need to take a solo WDW vacation just to satisfy my photo bug. Would that be great or what?!

Artsy at Animal Kingdom

2007-10-05T23:30:00.000-06:00

So I really used the black and white and sepia tone settings on my camera this summer while on vacation. I shot this at Animal Kingdom, a park I love. I know some people think of AK as just a zoo, but it's much more than that.

On the upside, those who don't get it won't come and crowd it with even more people. Can you tell I'm in an anti-social mood right now?

How adorable am I??!!

2007-10-02T18:18:00.000-06:00

This is Maddox, the kitten of one of my nephews. Maddox is adorable and he knows it.

As cute as he is, it makes me a tad sad to be around him because he reminds me so much of my beloved Buster, whom I had euthanized about two years ago after he suffered a stroke. He was 19 and had been with me for 18 years. Someday I'll blog about Buster, but thinking about him still makes me cry.

Shaken, not stirred

2007-09-30T01:10:00.000-06:00

Tea cups!!

My son sits in the green one. Again, this was shot on that great night in Magic Kingdom at Disney World. I convinced him to ride the tea cups because he really was hesitant. One spin 'round was enough for my head, so I got off. Of course, he loved it and wanted to ride again. And again.

I've already stated on this blog that I'm a Disney freak. I can't wait to go back (in 18 days with friends and again in February for a short three-day visit with one friend AND then in May with my son). I only work so I can go to Disney.

2007-09-28T21:04:00.000-06:00

You gaze upon the Queen. Yep, that's me.

Now I don't go around dressed in surgical garb. I snapped this while I was observing a hip resurfacing operation recently. I was taking pictures for work. This was the first time I've observed a surgery and I didn't know how I would react, even though I loves me some horror flicks. Blood, gore, the whole surgical knives thing - all in real life.

Well ... it really was cool. The doctors and surgical team were great, giving me time to take pictures - most of which I couldn't use because of the gore factor. The patient, of course, had given his consent to the whole thing. The one thing that really struck me was how these four doctors were moving this poor guy's leg into the most unnatural positions. It's no wonder people are sore as hell after surgery.

Have a magical day!

2007-09-27T23:38:00.000-06:00

I love this shot, if I do say so myself. I spent days trying to get just the right picture of Cinderella Castle this summer. Every one I took was crap. Very discouraging. Then, on an amazing night, it was just right.

It was the night before July 4th and Magic Kingdom was open late - for resort guests, Extra Magic Hours. Normally, these nights can be packed with people but the park really thinned out around 10:30 p.m. My son and I had a blast - riding and re-riding Pirates of the Caribbean, Big Thunder Mountain, Space Mountain, Peter Pan and more. We walked out of the park, eating some yummy ice cream, at 1:45 a.m.

A truly amazing night.

Yum

2007-09-15T20:59:00.000-06:00

Can you smell them? Too bad, 'cause they sure smelled good. Taste was excellent, by the way.

I shot this earlier this summer at our town's barbecue festival. I was working at the time, so I actually got paid to roam the festival and eat barbecue. Sometimes I love my job - sometimes.

The puking statue

2007-09-14T21:50:00.001-06:00

That's what my son calls this, at least. It's Mythos restaurant (I'm pretty sure; never ate there) at Universal Studios' Island of Adventure. I've always loved this part of IoA. Near this is Poseidon's Fury, which also has the "lost world" look going on. The show itself? Meh.

I can remember lingering in front of this because it was so damn hot and I wanted to jump into the water. As it was, I was grateful for the spray that kept me a little cooler. I had no trouble resting while my son was wandering the area.

A new leaf - and some big teeth

2007-09-12T13:42:00.000-06:00

Can't figure out what that is? It's a hippo with its mouth wide open. Impressive, I think. This was shot at Disney's Animal Kingdom in Florida (get familiar with it; you'll be seeing lots of Florida vaca pics) during this past summer trip. The hippo put on a real show for folks, letting fish groom him, pooping in the water (which thrilled all the kids there), rolling over, opening the mouth.

So here's the deal ...

2007-09-12T13:32:00.000-06:00

For those of you too stupid to figure it out, stuff you leave on the intrawebs under your real name can bite you in the ass. There have been many things I would have loved to rant about here, but always was hesitant because, well, I like having money to eat, pay bills and go on vacation.

But the blog kept calling to me, kinda like an abandoned kitty. And you all know how I never can resist that.

So I'm changing the purpose of this blog. I'll use it primarily as a spot to post my photos taken at home and on the road. It's a hobby.

Does this mean I'm now rant-free? Oh but no. But that's for another blog - under a pseudonym. ;-)~

Am I that uncaring and/or shallow?

2007-08-20T18:07:00.000-06:00

So Hurricane Dean is tearing through the Caribbean, killing people, destroying buildings and generally leaving a bad impression on folks.

But what's the first thing I think of when I hear it's headed straight for Jamaica and Grand Cayman? "Shit, those are our cruise stops!"

I guess I'm not a total loss because I immediately was ashamed of myself for being so shallow while these poor people were facing a vicious hurricane. Still, it makes you wonder.

I vow to spend extra money while in port on my cruise come January. Really. Duty-free shopping is a wonderful thing.

Long live the Queen!

2007-08-03T18:27:00.000-06:00

I'm not dead yet, really. It's been weeks since I posted. So I've been busy! Vacation, work, family ... give me a break. I know all you fans out there have missed me so much. *snort*

Is it 2009 yet?

2007-05-06T03:07:00.000-06:00

Please, dear God, make it stop.

I scream, you scream

2007-04-21T21:06:00.000-06:00

Nation, I am outraged!

Being a loyal viewer and good American, I have tried to buy Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream ice cream. But can I find it anywhere in this backwards-ass town? Nooooooooooo!

I've searched grocery stores, pharmacies, the megastore not too far from my office. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Zero. Not even Willie Nelson's ice cream has made it here.

I tried using the Ben & Jerry's product locator, but all I got were error messages from the database. I think it's a leftist plot by the liberal elite out to get Stephen.

And to make matters worse, Stephen keeps eating the stuff on his show. He's such a tease, in addition to being so hot.

But I will overcome. The Ben & Jerry's Web site ships ice cream. So for a cool $54.95, I can have six pints of Stephen shipped to me in all its dry-ice goodness.

Take that, liberal America!